The wind blows through my window. I think I see, but it is like walking blind. The void stretches between my body and the image that my remembrance forms, like an abyss that represents the end of the road.
So far I have come, and now back and forth. Or, perhaps, continue to believe that it is possible to cross. My tears melt with the rain, but the way my wet eyes observe the ghost of your being leaves no room for confusion.
I do not know if this sob is because of you, or the impotence, the impossibility: this nothing that looms in front of me. I feel tired. The leaves of the trees, in the distance, are dancing. They have already found their happiness, their place in the world.
Where is mine? I guess I will not know until I can cross. So far away is the other shore.
I have lived believing that something wonderful can happen, or that I can make it happen. With the classic phrase of giving everything, reach you, the most beautiful image of all, the most amazing landscape, where I will want to lie down, as if it were your lap, and rest. Forever. Or, when the maximum turbulence has passed, understand reality while looking into your eyes, those that can make me feel infinity, and then smile and go home.
I do not know how far I will go, if I will stay on the road, or if, where I arrive, it will not be the place I would have imagined. Without a doubt, I know that I may fail, but I will never do so on the certainty of the image that I keep with me: the image I keep of you.
For, when the lights are gone and only the illumination of the moon and the stars remains in the sky, I will hug you, and I will love you. And it is that, from now on, I take you with me. You are already with me. You will be there when crossing this abyss, which will not be such by your side. So, at both ends, I will be home.
Here I am, ready to set off, ready to go and look for you. Or find myself. Ready to find you and, once again, love you. Or just come to realize that, throughout the journey, I will have been able to be happy.
So shall it be. Until I see you, and forever.
Cover by Chris Czermak (Pexels).